How To Deal With Parental Stress

Parental stress is inescapable and managing it is the first step to breaking the vicious cycle of toxic thinking. According to the author, there are 17 strategies to lower our anxiety and relax our mind so that we can manage our toxic thoughts.

1. Breathe your way to a clear mind

2. Parent the young dude (or dudette) with gratitude

3. Give yourself the power of positive energy

4. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen?"

5. Be prepared

6. Write it down (be organized)

7. Exercise

8. Don't believe in wasted time

9. You "really need" what?

10. Be flexible in your outlook

11. Get enough sleep

12. Write about it (journal)

13. Talk it out

14. Talk less is good, too

15. Do for others

16. Take a time-out

17. Get away any way you can

As much as I would like to elaborate more on each strategy, I really should not risk becoming too long winded. After all, these are not new ideas and thus, everyone (including myself) should not have any problem applying them. If anyone would want to learn more, please read "Liking The Child You Love: Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids - Even When They're Driving You Crazy" by Jeffrey Bernstein.

How To Deal With Parental Stress

Parental stress is inescapable and managing it is the first step to breaking the vicious cycle of toxic thinking. According to the author, there are 17 strategies to lower our anxiety and relax our mind so that we can manage our toxic thoughts.

1. Breathe your way to a clear mind

2. Parent the young dude (or dudette) with gratitude

3. Give yourself the power of positive energy

4. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen?"

5. Be prepared

6. Write it down (be organized)

7. Exercise

8. Don't believe in wasted time

9. You "really need" what?

10. Be flexible in your outlook

11. Get enough sleep

12. Write about it (journal)

13. Talk it out

14. Talk less is good, too

15. Do for others

16. Take a time-out

17. Get away any way you can

As much as I would like to elaborate more on each strategy, I really should not risk becoming too long winded. After all, these are not new ideas and thus, everyone (including myself) should not have any problem applying them. If anyone would want to learn more, please read "Liking The Child You Love: Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids - Even When They're Driving You Crazy" by Jeffrey Bernstein.

Toxic Thoughts

"Liking The Child You Love: Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids - Even When They're Driving You Crazy" by Jeffrey Bernstein is not the best parenting book you can find, but it deals with an issue that I am growing more and more concerned of - my negative feelings and actions towards Sophie. Why am I so harsh on her if I love her half as much as I claim? Am I a bad parent because I have toxic thinking that leads to some pretty nasty episodes between Sophie and me ? Apparently not. Toxic thoughts are just distortions that impair our ability to understand our children, connect with them and problem solve for improve our situation. There are essentially 9 toxic thought patterns that I can easily identify with.

1. "Always or Never" Trap

Sometimes, Sophie behaves in such an irrational and unreasonable manner that I become overwhelmed with the whole situation. In order to make sense of her behaviour and reduce my own emotional stress and tension, I make statements like "... why are you always like this... " or "... you never listen...". In a way, I am creating the illusion that our problems are not fixable so I cannot really do anything about it. It is a language of giving up and losing faith since I don't know what else I can do anyway. However, according to the author, success in parenting comes from seeing our children's behaviours on a continuum of strengths and weaknesses. If I want to raise Sophie to be emotionally healthy and self reliant child, I must be able to accept her for who she wants to be rather than how I expect her to be.

2. Label Gluing

Of course, I label Sophie. I call her a "comedian" and even "headless chicken" at times when I really cannot stand her. Such labelling grows out of "always or never" thinking. There is no other way to explain her unstoppable mischief and failure in meeting my expectations so I tend to fix those as permanent traits in her. Unfortunately, I might have been demotivating her from making positive changes or improvements since children tend to live up or live down to their parents' expectations. Wonder if it is too much to hope for that it is just a phase she is going through? according to the author, such labels becomes part of the child's permanent identity and it is damaging to the self concept. It also perpetuates the very behaviour that we find objectable.

3. Seething Sarcasm

I am the queen of sarcasm (with pride) but I doubt I would appreciate this as much in Sophie if she ever picks it up from me. I bet I would regard her as "disrespectful" and "defiant" then. Sarcasm are what we don't really mean, mocking exaggerations or opposites implied through our tone of voice. Regretably, they are totally useless for effective communication. It hurts feelings and masks sensitive and vulnerable feelings. I will have to try my best to curtail my sarcasm.

4. Smothering Suspicions

Although I don't think it's applicable to Sophie and me at the moment, I feel that sometimes I do jump into conclusion about her in a negative way, especially in social settings. I worry a lot that she may hurt someone because she is careless or thoughtless, or offend someone with her antics. Often I am fearful of losing control over her when others are around. I cannot imagine what she may be up to if I am not there to leash her.

5. Detrimental Denial

I am definitely not guilty of this particular toxic thought. I think CK and our parents may be more prone to this than me. He tends to give excuses for her behaviours and puts the blame on others. Sophie needs to face reality and cope with consequences of her behaviours (both good and bad).

6. Emotional Overheating

I tend to flare up go into a frenzy fit when Sophie misbehaves and I fail to talk any sense into her. I am desperately trying to help her learn. Sometimes I am torn between letting her make mistakes and protecting her from disappointments. When things get really tough and I want to prevent it from escalating further, I shut down... literally. I ignore her totally even if she begs me to hug and comfort her. Indeed, I tend to react impulsively and impose very rigid expectation of full compliance from her. Such reactions from me might destroy her self-esteem. After each outburst, I often find the whole episode quite benign and unnecessary. As a result, Sophie is terrified of me.

7. Blame Blasting

I used to be quite careful with what I said to Sophie. However, I get very emotional ever since Alfee was born and I verbalise my dark thoughts more often than not. I tend to blame her for being so tired and frustrated all the time. I blame her for everything although I am the one who cannot manage time and two kids. I focus too much on finding the culprit rather than solutions of the problem.

8. "Should" Slamming

Sometimes, I go into my lists of "shoulds" and "musts" on her which inevitably makes her feel guilty and frustrated. Her good intentions, desires and strengths are ignored when I slam her with what I expect her to do, think and feel.

9. Dooming Conclusion

My friends will definitely agree that I am guilty for having thoughts of impending doom about my life, my kids and the world in general. I see all negative behaviours from Sophie as a sign for a more horrifying future to come. Unconsciously, I am creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

So there you have it! I am at least guilty of 8 of the above toxic thinking patterns. I hope I am not running into copyright issues with this blog. I am writing about my own experience, based on what I read from his book. If that should be a problem, I will be more than willing to remove this entry. My next entry will be how I can manage this problem of mine and rebuild my relationship with Sophie.

To be cont'd...

Toxic Thoughts

"Liking The Child You Love: Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids - Even When They're Driving You Crazy" by Jeffrey Bernstein is not the best parenting book you can find, but it deals with an issue that I am growing more and more concerned of - my negative feelings and actions towards Sophie. Why am I so harsh on her if I love her half as much as I claim? Am I a bad parent because I have toxic thinking that leads to some pretty nasty episodes between Sophie and me ? Apparently not. Toxic thoughts are just distortions that impair our ability to understand our children, connect with them and problem solve for improve our situation. There are essentially 9 toxic thought patterns that I can easily identify with.

1. "Always or Never" Trap

Sometimes, Sophie behaves in such an irrational and unreasonable manner that I become overwhelmed with the whole situation. In order to make sense of her behaviour and reduce my own emotional stress and tension, I make statements like "... why are you always like this... " or "... you never listen...". In a way, I am creating the illusion that our problems are not fixable so I cannot really do anything about it. It is a language of giving up and losing faith since I don't know what else I can do anyway. However, according to the author, success in parenting comes from seeing our children's behaviours on a continuum of strengths and weaknesses. If I want to raise Sophie to be emotionally healthy and self reliant child, I must be able to accept her for who she wants to be rather than how I expect her to be.

2. Label Gluing

Of course, I label Sophie. I call her a "comedian" and even "headless chicken" at times when I really cannot stand her. Such labelling grows out of "always or never" thinking. There is no other way to explain her unstoppable mischief and failure in meeting my expectations so I tend to fix those as permanent traits in her. Unfortunately, I might have been demotivating her from making positive changes or improvements since children tend to live up or live down to their parents' expectations. Wonder if it is too much to hope for that it is just a phase she is going through? according to the author, such labels becomes part of the child's permanent identity and it is damaging to the self concept. It also perpetuates the very behaviour that we find objectable.

3. Seething Sarcasm

I am the queen of sarcasm (with pride) but I doubt I would appreciate this as much in Sophie if she ever picks it up from me. I bet I would regard her as "disrespectful" and "defiant" then. Sarcasm are what we don't really mean, mocking exaggerations or opposites implied through our tone of voice. Regretably, they are totally useless for effective communication. It hurts feelings and masks sensitive and vulnerable feelings. I will have to try my best to curtail my sarcasm.

4. Smothering Suspicions

Although I don't think it's applicable to Sophie and me at the moment, I feel that sometimes I do jump into conclusion about her in a negative way, especially in social settings. I worry a lot that she may hurt someone because she is careless or thoughtless, or offend someone with her antics. Often I am fearful of losing control over her when others are around. I cannot imagine what she may be up to if I am not there to leash her.

5. Detrimental Denial

I am definitely not guilty of this particular toxic thought. I think CK and our parents may be more prone to this than me. He tends to give excuses for her behaviours and puts the blame on others. Sophie needs to face reality and cope with consequences of her behaviours (both good and bad).

6. Emotional Overheating

I tend to flare up go into a frenzy fit when Sophie misbehaves and I fail to talk any sense into her. I am desperately trying to help her learn. Sometimes I am torn between letting her make mistakes and protecting her from disappointments. When things get really tough and I want to prevent it from escalating further, I shut down... literally. I ignore her totally even if she begs me to hug and comfort her. Indeed, I tend to react impulsively and impose very rigid expectation of full compliance from her. Such reactions from me might destroy her self-esteem. After each outburst, I often find the whole episode quite benign and unnecessary. As a result, Sophie is terrified of me.

7. Blame Blasting

I used to be quite careful with what I said to Sophie. However, I get very emotional ever since Alfee was born and I verbalise my dark thoughts more often than not. I tend to blame her for being so tired and frustrated all the time. I blame her for everything although I am the one who cannot manage time and two kids. I focus too much on finding the culprit rather than solutions of the problem.

8. "Should" Slamming

Sometimes, I go into my lists of "shoulds" and "musts" on her which inevitably makes her feel guilty and frustrated. Her good intentions, desires and strengths are ignored when I slam her with what I expect her to do, think and feel.

9. Dooming Conclusion

My friends will definitely agree that I am guilty for having thoughts of impending doom about my life, my kids and the world in general. I see all negative behaviours from Sophie as a sign for a more horrifying future to come. Unconsciously, I am creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

So there you have it! I am at least guilty of 8 of the above toxic thinking patterns. I hope I am not running into copyright issues with this blog. I am writing about my own experience, based on what I read from his book. If that should be a problem, I will be more than willing to remove this entry. My next entry will be how I can manage this problem of mine and rebuild my relationship with Sophie.

To be cont'd...

PFS

I went to NEX with KK last Wednesday for kopi and we toured the library after that. The library was new and the selection was encouraging. My interest in library has been consequently rekindled. A book caught my eye straight away and the title is "Liking The Child You Love: Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids - Even When They're Driving You Crazy" by Jeffrey Bernstein.

Those who know me probably understand why I am particularly driven to read this book. Sophie has been my constant challenge for sanity. I find myself asking why I just cannot keep my cool with her and I feel like a failure as a mother and a teacher. I cannot teach her anything except my daily frustrations and desperation. I cannot look her in the eye without showing my disapproval for whatever she is doing or failing to do. Honestly, I fear that one day she will stop loving me and I will lose her. After all, I am not as “fun” to be with and I am always the one to discipline her.

I have been told too often that my expectations for her are too high so I am never satisfied with her progress and performance. It may be all true but it also makes me feel very guilty and excuses her from all responsibilities. It suggests that the problem lies with me – the mother. Everyone else seems to be perfectly fine with her. Well, that’s probably because no one feels as responsible for her well being, education, and future as me. I have the whole weight of her success or failure in life on my shoulders. And of course, it does not help when others casually make remarks, attributing her behaviour to me.

In the book, the author discussed the Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS), something every parent would inevitably experience but struggle to admit openly and deal with honestly. We love our children (of course) yet we really cannot stand their behaviour or traits. For Sophie and me, we are in a “love-hate relationship” (we love each other but we can’t stand each other).

And this PFS is fuelled by our own toxic thoughts, which has a powerful impact and influence on how we feel and react in our interaction with our children. They create their own reality and drive toxic behaviours in families. In short, we need to be aware of such toxic thoughts and start doing something about it so that they will not take control of our lives. Ultimately, the success of our parenting is driven by how we view and react to our children, especially during challenging times. And we do have the freedom to choose how we think, feel and react towards our children. For instance, we can do self-talk.

When I was expecting Sophie and doing my masters in counselling, I promised her (and myself) not to be a toxic parent. I wanted to be the best mum ever for her and give her a wonderful childhood. All well and good until our world expanded and others come into play. When the "Jones" moved in, our relationship fell apart. I started expecting more from her and she began to rebel in her own way. Now I have become a terror. She is fearful of me and my anger. I have become a toxic parent with toxic thoughts. Despite all, I doubt anyone understands what I am going through. I have so much anger, fears and guilt that I am never truly happy at all.

To be cont'd...

PFS

I went to NEX with KK last Wednesday for kopi and we toured the library after that. The library was new and the selection was encouraging. My interest in library has been consequently rekindled. A book caught my eye straight away and the title is "Liking The Child You Love: Build A Better Relationship With Your Kids - Even When They're Driving You Crazy" by Jeffrey Bernstein.

Those who know me probably understand why I am particularly driven to read this book. Sophie has been my constant challenge for sanity. I find myself asking why I just cannot keep my cool with her and I feel like a failure as a mother and a teacher. I cannot teach her anything except my daily frustrations and desperation. I cannot look her in the eye without showing my disapproval for whatever she is doing or failing to do. Honestly, I fear that one day she will stop loving me and I will lose her. After all, I am not as “fun” to be with and I am always the one to discipline her.

I have been told too often that my expectations for her are too high so I am never satisfied with her progress and performance. It may be all true but it also makes me feel very guilty and excuses her from all responsibilities. It suggests that the problem lies with me – the mother. Everyone else seems to be perfectly fine with her. Well, that’s probably because no one feels as responsible for her well being, education, and future as me. I have the whole weight of her success or failure in life on my shoulders. And of course, it does not help when others casually make remarks, attributing her behaviour to me.

In the book, the author discussed the Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS), something every parent would inevitably experience but struggle to admit openly and deal with honestly. We love our children (of course) yet we really cannot stand their behaviour or traits. For Sophie and me, we are in a “love-hate relationship” (we love each other but we can’t stand each other).

And this PFS is fuelled by our own toxic thoughts, which has a powerful impact and influence on how we feel and react in our interaction with our children. They create their own reality and drive toxic behaviours in families. In short, we need to be aware of such toxic thoughts and start doing something about it so that they will not take control of our lives. Ultimately, the success of our parenting is driven by how we view and react to our children, especially during challenging times. And we do have the freedom to choose how we think, feel and react towards our children. For instance, we can do self-talk.

When I was expecting Sophie and doing my masters in counselling, I promised her (and myself) not to be a toxic parent. I wanted to be the best mum ever for her and give her a wonderful childhood. All well and good until our world expanded and others come into play. When the "Jones" moved in, our relationship fell apart. I started expecting more from her and she began to rebel in her own way. Now I have become a terror. She is fearful of me and my anger. I have become a toxic parent with toxic thoughts. Despite all, I doubt anyone understands what I am going through. I have so much anger, fears and guilt that I am never truly happy at all.

To be cont'd...

Restless...

I feel very frustrated by the price war going on in the children books market! There is some fishy stuff going on in the industry apparently. Although consumers always benefit from price war among sellers, people who have already spent good money on the same items (like myself) often suffer (sometimes psychologically)! 

Let me make myself clear. Usually, suppliers (local or overseas) distribute their books to local bookstores and schools, the books are priced accordingly to cover the cost of copyright, printing, shipping, shop rental and sale persons etc. Occasionally, you find major distributors also selling books to individuals directly, so they can charge cheaper (no middle man, shop rental and etc). All fine and good, I suppose. It depends on the buyers to be educated and source for the best price. 

Nowadays, consumers are flocking to online bookstores, bulk purchases and overseas sprees for cheaper alternatives. The savings can be quite substantial (sometimes up to 50%), not to mention that some of the items cannot even be found in our local market. Now, I am quite keen on finding the best deals for children books because we do not visit libraries (pathetic from variety to quantity to service to policy) and children outgrow their books very quickly which means we have to keep buying suitable books. However, I am also skeptical about "cheap" deals. Nothing, to me, comes cheap without a "buyers beware" tag behind. 

So beware buyers... If it is very cheap, it is released a year or more ago and the distributors or sellers need to clear stock. Sometimes, it does not matter because the books are classic anyway. However, certain books are updated and even amended in their latest edition so buyers beware. I would not buy a book about our solar system if Pluto is still a planet. Of course, some books are also too yellowish and old to sell at their usual price. I mean, some sellers even admit candidly that their prices are slashed because they have stocks to clear. Sometimes, the books are no longer in print and the "set" sold by these sellers are actually incomplete. Mind you, "10 books in a set" is not the same as "complete set of 10 books"! Another possible reason for price cut - errors in print. Personally, I have bought bilingual or chinese books with very misleading or even mistakes in translations. 

In short, be careful and look for the history of the seller. Any complaints? Any problems such as delays in shipping or delivery etc? Sometimes, the book may be very cheap (first payment), but the shipping (second payment) may end up a few times more costly than the book itself. Also, keep your correspondence open and public so that you can help inform one another and understand the procedure and potential issues involved. Check the terms and conditions, you will find that all sellers tell you they will not not be responsible for anything with their goods and you "must be comfortable with the terms and conditions" aka "buy at your own risk"! Of course, these sellers are also not obligated to keep your mailing details confidential. It is common to see sellers acting unprofessionally. When it comes to terms and conditions or when a problem arises, they refer you back to the "agreement" and "declaimer". But if they fail to reply your enquiry promptly or there is some delay in delivery, for instance, they will give you ":P" and say "sorry hor, it has been a busy week for me, so..." etc. Totally unprofessional. 

If you still feel "safe" buying from them, always do some checks on the items before you make the purchase. Ask for date of release, ISBN or anything that can help you search for its retail price in major bookstores. Research for book reviews and check for future publications before deciding if they are worth buying. I am speaking from experience (mistakes) and I have nothing to gain from sharing my views on this industry. Of course, there are also genuine and good sellers out there so good luck and happy shopping! Time to go on a spree again!!!

Restless...

I feel very frustrated by the price war going on in the children books market! There is some fishy stuff going on in the industry apparently. Although consumers always benefit from price war among sellers, people who have already spent good money on the same items (like myself) often suffer (sometimes psychologically)!

Let me make myself clear. Usually, suppliers (local or overseas) distribute their books to local bookstores and schools, the books are priced accordingly to cover the cost of copyright, printing, shipping, shop rental and sale persons etc. Occasionally, you find major distributors also selling books to individuals directly, so they can charge cheaper (no middle man, shop rental and etc). All fine and good, I suppose. It depends on the buyers to be educated and source for the best price.

Nowadays, consumers are flocking to online bookstores, bulk purchases and overseas sprees for cheaper alternatives. The savings can be quite substantial (sometimes up to 50%), not to mention that some of the items cannot even be found in our local market. Now, I am quite keen on finding the best deals for children books because we do not visit libraries (pathetic from variety to quantity to service to policy) and children outgrow their books very quickly which means we have to keep buying suitable books. However, I am also skeptical about "cheap" deals. Nothing, to me, comes cheap without a "buyers beware" tag behind.

So beware buyers... If it is very cheap, it is released a year or more ago and the distributors or sellers need to clear stock. Sometimes, it does not matter because the books are classic anyway. However, certain books are updated and even amended in their latest edition so buyers beware. I would not buy a book about our solar system if Pluto is still a planet. Of course, some books are also too yellowish and old to sell at their usual price. I mean, some sellers even admit candidly that their prices are slashed because they have stocks to clear. Sometimes, the books are no longer in print and the "set" sold by these sellers are actually incomplete. Mind you, "10 books in a set" is not the same as "complete set of 10 books"! Another possible reason for price cut - errors in print. Personally, I have bought bilingual or chinese books with very misleading or even mistakes in translations.

In short, be careful and look for the history of the seller. Any complaints? Any problems such as delays in shipping or delivery etc? Sometimes, the book may be very cheap (first payment), but the shipping (second payment) may end up a few times more costly than the book itself. Also, keep your correspondence open and public so that you can help inform one another and understand the procedure and potential issues involved. Check the terms and conditions, you will find that all sellers tell you they will not not be responsible for anything with their goods and you "must be comfortable with the terms and conditions" aka "buy at your own risk"! Of course, these sellers are also not obligated to keep your mailing details confidential. It is common to see sellers acting unprofessionally. When it comes to terms and conditions or when a problem arises, they refer you back to the "agreement" and "declaimer". But if they fail to reply your enquiry promptly or there is some delay in delivery, for instance, they will give you ":P" and say "sorry hor, it has been a busy week for me, so..." etc. Totally unprofessional.

If you still feel "safe" buying from them, always do some checks on the items before you make the purchase. Ask for date of release, ISBN or anything that can help you search for its retail price in major bookstores. Research for book reviews and check for future publications before deciding if they are worth buying. I am speaking from experience (mistakes) and I have nothing to gain from sharing my views on this industry. Of course, there are also genuine and good sellers out there so good luck and happy shopping! Time to go on a spree again!!!

Excuse Me...

There are 5 main scapegoats responsible for the cryogenic suspension of my blogs and until now, I still have little success in their resuscitation.

1. Alfee, my little man. First, it was my pregancy with him. It was all about self care and Sophie's emotional well-being then so I hardly have any energy left for blogging. Then after he was born, it was tough to juggle caring for two kids and lots of sibling rivalry from Sophie. Blogging just was not my priority.

2. I-ism (IPod, IPad and Iphone). They are so user-friendly and convenient that my laptop becomes totally annoying to use. The only problem, I cannot blog with any of them!

3. Facebook. My friends are on FB more often than my blog so naturally, it makes more sense to post on FB rather than on my blogs. And it is so easy to upload, of course. At the end of the day, I want the most efficient way of posting and blogging is just too time-consuming.

4. Papa. Recently, he lost 3 months of my photographs (picture folder) when he transferred it to my portable harddrive. We need to retrieve it with some PC doctor but I cannot leave my laptop with someone else (who knows what he will retrieve?). Now there is a gap in records so I cannot function properly! (I did say they are scapegoats, right?

5. Recently, I did some work for TheAsianParent (yet to be paid!) so I am not sure how to blog about it so that I will not infringe copyright.

I am still trying my best to somehow go back to blogging. It does not help that we are in midlife crisis now and we just want to shop shop and shop our time away. I have been buying so much stuff that I am running out of closet space in my apartment! As though I am making up for lost time (or shopping). Okay, no time to waste... time to shop online again!

Excuse Me...

There are 5 main scapegoats responsible for the cryogenic suspension of my blogs and until now, I still have little success in their resuscitation.

1. Alfee, my little man. First, it was my pregancy with him. It was all about self care and Sophie's emotional well-being then so I hardly have any energy left for blogging. Then after he was born, it was tough to juggle caring for two kids and lots of sibling rivalry from Sophie. Blogging just was not my priority.

2. I-ism (IPod, IPad and Iphone). They are so user-friendly and convenient that my laptop becomes totally annoying to use. The only problem, I cannot blog with any of them!

3. Facebook. My friends are on FB more often than my blog so naturally, it makes more sense to post on FB rather than on my blogs. And it is so easy to upload, of course. At the end of the day, I want the most efficient way of posting and blogging is just too time-consuming.

4. Papa. Recently, he lost 3 months of my photographs (picture folder) when he transferred it to my portable harddrive. We need to retrieve it with some PC doctor but I cannot leave my laptop with someone else (who knows what he will retrieve?). Now there is a gap in records so I cannot function properly! (I did say they are scapegoats, right?

5. Recently, I did some work for TheAsianParent (yet to be paid!) so I am not sure how to blog about it so that I will not infringe copyright.

I am still trying my best to somehow go back to blogging. It does not help that we are in midlife crisis now and we just want to shop shop and shop our time away. I have been buying so much stuff that I am running out of closet space in my apartment! As though I am making up for lost time (or shopping). Okay, no time to waste... time to shop online again!

Meet Alexander & Berkeley

We went shopping at Takashimaya and on impulse, I let CK buy me a handbag. The original plan was to shop for a leather briefcase as my anniversary cum birthday present for him, but he convinced me that I needed a handbag as well. As a result, we are now happy but slightly embarrassed owners of Alexander and Berkeley by Louis Vuitton.