Second Scan Of XD (Xiao Dou)

XD (10 weeks)

This morning, we left Sophie and Rose with my mother-in-law and visited our gynaecologist at Thomson Medical Centre. Dr Tan said XD is growing well and it seems our pregnacy is no longer "threatened". However, she wants me to continue with the hormone pills (reduced dosage) just in case. I lost some weight too, but no big deal. When we looked at the ultrascan, XD was moving and kicking about. So cute! There was a surge of maternal happiness in me that nearly got translated into tears. It lasted 3 seconds or so. For the first time since we found out about XD, it felt real. XD is real and growing in my womb.

Heartache

I wept today when Sophie refused to put away her stuff. To many, it might have been a normal thing but to me, it was not so normal. She was much more cooperative before I started neglecting her two weeks ago. I have myself to blame. Everyone tells me to leave her to my helper since I am not feeling well. But the consequences? I want the control back. I want her to be independent and responsible. That means I will have to bite the bullet and endure the "you ask for it" if I should feel discouraged, tired or stressed out. But I can compromise everything else... except my children. Even if I get no support, I cannot give in and leave my children to the helper. She is good but she is not Sophie's mum.

Bad Vibes

I met an acquaintance today; someone whom I have not seen (actually I meant "talked to") for at least 8 years. Actually, I have seen him a couple of times but I tried not to acknowledge him. I have a nasty but almost instinctive habit of evading from acquaintances I meet. Now, I guess I understood why I have always preferred not to say "hi". We talked only a little, but I sensed that he was trying to size me up. He and his wife are property agents now. Naturally, he got a little excited to know CK works in OUB and we stay in a condo. I am not used to "social networking" of such sort so our conversation left me with a slight bitter after taste. However, he really got to me when he said I have put on weight! I meant, what did he expect? After 8 years? AND I AM PREGNANT! He does not look as young as before either! I actually tried to joke about it by saying it was all because of Sophie (standing innocently besides me). And he gave me a "Ya-ya, my wife says so too!" look.

Bad Vibes

I met an acquaintance today; someone whom I have not seen (actually I meant "talked to") for at least 8 years. Actually, I have seen him a couple of times but I tried not to acknowledge him. I have a nasty but almost instinctive habit of evading from acquaintances I meet. Now, I guess I understood why I have always preferred not to say "hi". We talked only a little, but I sensed that he was trying to size me up. He and his wife are property agents now. Naturally, he got a little excited to know CK works in OUB and we stay in a condo. I am not used to "social networking" of such sort so our conversation left me with a slight bitter after taste. However, he really got to me when he said I have put on weight! I meant, what did he expect? After 8 years? AND I AM PREGNANT! He does not look as young as before either! I actually tried to joke about it by saying it was all because of Sophie (standing innocently besides me). And he gave me a "Ya-ya, my wife says so too!" look.

'Tis So Challenging

Life has become very challenging since we found out about No.2. We have to quickly get a domestic helper so that we can train her to work independently within 6 months. We called in our carpenter to fix up our master bedroom so that we can use it when No.2 arrives. We have also started school for Sophie which means a great deal of travelling and adjusting for her and us. We must toilet train her in time for pre-nursery as well.

Lots of things to do and so little time and energy on my part. I need to be horizontal a lot more than I am willing to. With Sophie, I was not so helpless. I could rest when I had to. This time, it was really hard to let myself relax. On one hand, I want to provide better care for No.2, on the other, I really hate to compromise Sophie's learning. In fact, I have stopped the activities with her after we found our that I was spotting. It has been almost 2 weeks and I feel really bad about it.

It helps that we recently met up with our mentor at Cherrybrooks. She reminded us to see the big picture and let go of those small inconveniences and hiccups. She also validated our efforts in educating Sophie and encouraged us to remain thankful that we could provide such a good home environment for her. By staying at home, I am able to have full control over how we bring Sophie up. The challenge is how we can do the same for No.2. She also wants us to bear "unity" in mind. Both of us must remember that we are "one" and our family can only function well if we stay that way. I guess sometimes it is good to have the perspective of an external professional.

'Tis So Challenging

Life has become very challenging since we found out about No.2. We have to quickly get a domestic helper so that we can train her to work independently within 6 months. We called in our carpenter to fix up our master bedroom so that we can use it when No.2 arrives. We have also started school for Sophie which means a great deal of travelling and adjusting for her and us. We must toilet train her in time for pre-nursery as well.

Lots of things to do and so little time and energy on my part. I need to be horizontal a lot more than I am willing to. With Sophie, I was not so helpless. I could rest when I had to. This time, it was really hard to let myself relax. On one hand, I want to provide better care for No.2, on the other, I really hate to compromise Sophie's learning. In fact, I have stopped the activities with her after we found our that I was spotting. It has been almost 2 weeks and I feel really bad about it.

It helps that we recently met up with our mentor at Cherrybrooks. She reminded us to see the big picture and let go of those small inconveniences and hiccups. She also validated our efforts in educating Sophie and encouraged us to remain thankful that we could provide such a good home environment for her. By staying at home, I am able to have full control over how we bring Sophie up. The challenge is how we can do the same for No.2. She also wants us to bear "unity" in mind. Both of us must remember that we are "one" and our family can only function well if we stay that way. I guess sometimes it is good to have the perspective of an external professional.

First Scan Of Baby XD (Xiao Dou)

We feel that we need to have a name for the little baby (even before we know its gender). We called Sophie XD which stands for Xiao Dan (little egg) then. But we cannot seem to get comfortable with any names so far. Finally, I think I will call the little one XD as well, but it stands for Xiao Dou (little pea). I like XD because it looks like a face laughing hysterically. I want my children to be happy always and never be like their mama who is ever so pessimistic and melancholic.

Xiao Dou (8 weeks)

Hang In There, Baby!

My second pregnancy has proven to be more challenging than I could ever imagine. Besides the perpetual morning sickness and lethargy, my stomach is very bloated. Although I am only 2 months pregnant, my tummy looks big. Also, it hurts when I eat and hurts when I don't. Yesterday, my gynaecologist said I am spotting and labelled me as "threatened abortion". Fortunately, the baby is "at this point still alive". That really freaked me out. With Sophie, everything was quite smooth sailing. The hormone level was high, not much morning sickness and she grew without any problem until I got gestational diabetes in the last trimester.

I really hope the baby would be ok. It is tough to manage Sophie without overexerting myself. She still wants me to carry and play with her, which means lots of physical exertion. Also, I have to accompany her to school. Of course it does not help that my room is currently going through some low grade renovation. I have to stay away whenever the guys come over to fix up the wardrobe and fixtures. I am quite worried now. Yet nothing much I can do besides taking the hormone pills, rest as much as I can and stay positive. I probably can't do much blogging for now.

Hang In There, Baby!

My second pregnancy has proven to be more challenging than I could ever imagine. Besides the perpetual morning sickness and lethargy, my stomach is very bloated. Although I am only 2 months pregnant, my tummy looks big. Also, it hurts when I eat and hurts when I don't. Yesterday, my gynaecologist said I am spotting and labelled me as "threatened abortion". Fortunately, the baby is "at this point still alive". That really freaked me out. With Sophie, everything was quite smooth sailing. The hormone level was high, not much morning sickness and she grew without any problem until I got gestational diabetes in the last trimester.

I really hope the baby would be ok. It is tough to manage Sophie without overexerting myself. She still wants me to carry and play with her, which means lots of physical exertion. Also, I have to accompany her to school. Of course it does not help that my room is currently going through some low grade renovation. I have to stay away whenever the guys come over to fix up the wardrobe and fixtures. I am quite worried now. Yet nothing much I can do besides taking the hormone pills, rest as much as I can and stay positive. I probably can't do much blogging for now.