Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Painful Realisation

It just hit me that I can no longer do outdoor activities. We spent the morning in the Singapore Botanic Garden and it was painful for me. As much as I hate admitting it, my physical body has deteriorated dramatically over the past year or so. Gone were the days I could spend hours with the kids in the park. Now I'm just a useless prick of a mum with chronic pain. Depression setting in... great. Wish I could put my head in the freezer to stop everything from firing.

Monday, 29 June 2015

Never Ask Unless You Are Willing To Accept The Answer

I'm sure I make this mistake as well, but as a person with chronic disorder, I often find my teeth clenched when people respond to my answer to their "How are you feeling?" with sarcasm or disbelief. The truth of the matter is - I am unwell. On good days I am tired, and on not so wonderful ones, I have aches and pains. So, what do you want to hear? Maybe it's a burden to know that I'm not feeling good... ever. In that case, just stop asking. I promise I'll not blame you or stop you from doing what I can't do. I'm fine, really.

Friday, 29 May 2015

Thursday, 29 May 2014

Code Red

How do I even begin to tell my tale? It has been the most turbulent flight for the past 6 months. Now we are at the critical moment. We either crash and end our misery or somehow manage an emergency ending in the middle of nowhere and find a way out or back. As far as I'm concerned, I haven't got the ability or confidence to secure a safe landing. CK is still searching for land and we are running out of fuel. But at least we have finally acknowledged and declared code red.

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

What has happened to me?

What has happened to me? I thought I have buried my past and moved on. I believed I have changed and I no longer crave for the earthly desires. I can't be wrong. I mustn't. But if I am right, why do I look back and see nothing but a blank piece of paper? It has been blank since 2005. I was suppose to have rewritten my life story, yet I can't find any traces of my life. It's like I have disappeared. Me, Loh Li Nah, has vanished. What has happened to me? 

Thursday, 26 December 2013

God Is Merciful

I was quite desperate for a ride home. The kids weren't behaving and I had no luck with the cab company. I hate to feel like I wasn't going to make it. Yet receiving help seemed shameful and it was equally difficult for me.  I walked out of Singapore Cheshire Home with the kids, not knowing what to expect or do. On the way I scolded them for being so uncooperative and wilful.

Then I saw a cab turning out from another home. We were some distance away, so I waved to get his attention. Fortunately he saw us. It must be our lucky day. God must have heard my panic cries and sent us some help.

Thursday, 19 December 2013

If I could

If I could... I would have remain single and lead a carefree life...