Help Needed

Even before we found out about the pregnancy, we have been toying with the possibility of engaging a domestic helper. I really don't think I am doing a good job cleaning the house. My rashes are back and I found some on Sophie too. Looks like we have the same kind of allergy.

Now we have got a domestic helper from the Philippines and she is coming next week. I hope she can do a good job and Sophie can get along with her. We'll do the paperwork over the weekends.

Help Needed

Even before we found out about the pregnancy, we have been toying with the possibility of engaging a domestic helper. I really don't think I am doing a good job cleaning the house. My rashes are back and I found some on Sophie too. Looks like we have the same kind of allergy.

Now we have got a domestic helper from the Philippines and she is coming next week. I hope she can do a good job and Sophie can get along with her. We'll do the paperwork over the weekends.

Down With Stomach Flu

Ever since we found out we are pregnant, I have been getting "hunger pangs" in the middle of the night. I also feel extremely lethargic and giddy in the day. I was surprised that the early signs were so prominent. I even joked about it. Today, I found out why. It was stomach flu. I ran for the toilet 3 times and almost could not get out of bed. In the end, we quickly made an appointment with a GP for some medication.

Down With Stomach Flu

Ever since we found out we are pregnant, I have been getting "hunger pangs" in the middle of the night. I also feel extremely lethargic and giddy in the day. I was surprised that the early signs were so prominent. I even joked about it. Today, I found out why. It was stomach flu. I ran for the toilet 3 times and almost could not get out of bed. In the end, we quickly made an appointment with a GP for some medication.

Christmas Present For Loy Family

I still cannot really register it well, but there are two lines on the pregancy test kit last night. I was 5 days late so I got CK to buy a kit on his way home. Both of us were not harbouring high hopes because I am always late and we really hate the down side of the rollercoaster. Yet, it seems like I am pregnant, after all.

This evening, CK came back with another test kit. He wanted to be "double" sure. And again, there were two lines. We have a lot more worries and concerns now than when Sophie was conceived though. I wonder how to cope with my pregnancy and a hyper two-year-old alone. Should I even announce it, at such an early stage? Oh well... tis too much to bear alone, I feel. In anycase, we have decided long ago to name our second baby "Sonya" or "Alfee", depending on its gender.

Christmas Present For Loy Family

I still cannot really register it well, but there are two lines on the pregancy test kit last night. I was 5 days late so I got CK to buy a kit on his way home. Both of us were not harbouring high hopes because I am always late and we really hate the down side of the rollercoaster. Yet, it seems like I am pregnant, after all.

This evening, CK came back with another test kit. He wanted to be "double" sure. And again, there were two lines. We have a lot more worries and concerns now than when Sophie was conceived though. I wonder how to cope with my pregnancy and a hyper two-year-old alone. Should I even announce it, at such an early stage? Oh well... tis too much to bear alone, I feel. In anycase, we have decided long ago to name our second baby "Sonya" or "Alfee", depending on its gender.

Homemade Pizza

I made snacks for my parents and Sophie today. After much deliberation, I took out two of the wholemeal pita bread I had bought on Sunday and spread tomato paste on top of them. Then I cut up some mushrooms, chicken ham and can pineapple slices as toppings. To finish it off, I sprinkle a generous amount of mozzarella cheese shavings on top of everything. Then into the oven they went, for 20 minutes or so. Although it seemed too simple to even mention, it is a milestone for me. I have never done this before so I had to look up cookbooks for receipes. And I had to modify the receipe so that it appeals to Sophie. I intend to make such snacks WITH Sophie once I am more comfortable with making them myself! Meanwhile, I am so glad today's attempt turned out well.

Homemade Pizza

I made snacks for my parents and Sophie today. After much deliberation, I took out two of the wholemeal pita bread I had bought on Sunday and spread tomato paste on top of them. Then I cut up some mushrooms, chicken ham and can pineapple slices as toppings. To finish it off, I sprinkle a generous amount of mozzarella cheese shavings on top of everything. Then into the oven they went, for 20 minutes or so. Although it seemed too simple to even mention, it is a milestone for me. I have never done this before so I had to look up cookbooks for receipes. And I had to modify the receipe so that it appeals to Sophie. I intend to make such snacks WITH Sophie once I am more comfortable with making them myself! Meanwhile, I am so glad today's attempt turned out well.

Lynn & Sarah

Lynn is my childhood friend. She married much earlier than I did and Audrey is her first born. Her second daughter, Sarah, was recently born and I visited her at TMC on Saturday while Sophie was taking her afternoon nap in the car with CK. We are very close friends but we seldom discuss about our worldviews, philosophy or the things we do for a living or recreation. We just talk like sisters who live far away from each other and we meet when there is a need to see each other. Audrey is 2 years older than Sophie. Sometimes I wonder how nice it would be if our children can become good friends especially since Sarah is 2 years younger than Sophie.

I think Lynn has adapted to motherhood a lot better than I have. She seems to really enjoy spending quality time with Audrey and now, she looks forward to her 5-month maternity leave with Sarah. If all turns out well, she may even resign and become a SAHM too. To me, that is amazing. No matter how well I am doing as a SAHM (not that I am), I look forward to working again. I love Sophie but this lifestyle is not for me and I yearn for my freedom all the time. I am held hostage by my maternal responsibility and Sophie's needs. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter fiercely and I would do whatever neccesary to bring her up well. I am just an ordinary person though, I have my own needs to fulfil.

Lynn & Sarah

Lynn is my childhood friend. She married much earlier than I did and Audrey is her first born. Her second daughter, Sarah, was recently born and I visited her at TMC on Saturday while Sophie was taking her afternoon nap in the car with CK. We are very close friends but we seldom discuss about our worldviews, philosophy or the things we do for a living or recreation. We just talk like sisters who live far away from each other and we meet when there is a need to see each other. Audrey is 2 years older than Sophie. Sometimes I wonder how nice it would be if our children can become good friends especially since Sarah is 2 years younger than Sophie.

I think Lynn has adapted to motherhood a lot better than I have. She seems to really enjoy spending quality time with Audrey and now, she looks forward to her 5-month maternity leave with Sarah. If all turns out well, she may even resign and become a SAHM too. To me, that is amazing. No matter how well I am doing as a SAHM (not that I am), I look forward to working again. I love Sophie but this lifestyle is not for me and I yearn for my freedom all the time. I am held hostage by my maternal responsibility and Sophie's needs. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter fiercely and I would do whatever neccesary to bring her up well. I am just an ordinary person though, I have my own needs to fulfil.

2010 Plans

Recently, CK and I talked about hiring a domestic helper next year. The household chores are really driving me insane. As the weather changes, my skin allergy is back again - little red and itchy bumps on my limbs. I probably can tolerate it but Sophie seems to have similar problem although her case is milder. I seriously doubt I can do a good job cleaning the house so someone else has to do it. We also thought about part-time cleaners, but a domestic helper is more economical.

We also want to renovate our master bedroom. We intend to move back with Sophie and let the domestic helper sleep in our current bedroom. She can also do the ironing in the room. Unfortunately, we can only get the renovators in after Chinese New Year (March). So, we can only hire our domestic helper in June. By then, Sophie will hopefully be well adjusted in Cherrytots and all ready to go into Pre-Nursery in Cherrybrooks.

I also intend to take a refresher course from SSDC to overcome my phobia in driving. It has handicapped me for far too long and the only way for me to manage Sophie's schooling schedule, is for me to drive. If this fails again, I shall take more drastic measures... like seeing a counsellor or hypnotherapist. Hopefully, I can stop those panic attacks once and for all.

2010 Plans

Recently, CK and I talked about hiring a domestic helper next year. The household chores are really driving me insane. As the weather changes, my skin allergy is back again - little red and itchy bumps on my limbs. I probably can tolerate it but Sophie seems to have similar problem although her case is milder. I seriously doubt I can do a good job cleaning the house so someone else has to do it. We also thought about part-time cleaners, but a domestic helper is more economical.

We also want to renovate our master bedroom. We intend to move back with Sophie and let the domestic helper sleep in our current bedroom. She can also do the ironing in the room. Unfortunately, we can only get the renovators in after Chinese New Year (March). So, we can only hire our domestic helper in June. By then, Sophie will hopefully be well adjusted in Cherrytots and all ready to go into Pre-Nursery in Cherrybrooks.

I also intend to take a refresher course from SSDC to overcome my phobia in driving. It has handicapped me for far too long and the only way for me to manage Sophie's schooling schedule, is for me to drive. If this fails again, I shall take more drastic measures... like seeing a counsellor or hypnotherapist. Hopefully, I can stop those panic attacks once and for all.

Brought It Upon Myself?

I have had enough. I was told recently that my SAHM life is so tough now because I brought it upon myself. And that maybe others could manage it so well because their methods are better. Perhaps I ought to change my ways and learn from others. I was also advised not to be so “arrogant” that I think my way with Sophie is correct or necessary the best for her.

I never boast about the effort I put into raising Sophie because everyday is a struggle for me. I am not trained so I had to read up and understand early childhood education before I dare to do anything with her. I have no younger siblings or any experience with babies so I had to read up about how to care for her. Yet every effort and attempt I have ever made was only met with contempt, doubt and insult. I am so hurt, discouraged and defeated.

In fact, this week I am letting go of everything. I leave the TV on so that Sophie can watch whatever she pleases. I gave her toys to occupy her time while I cook and clean. When she runs to me for attention or ask me to read to her, I would give her a hug and send her off to watch more TV or direct her to her toys instead. No more routines either. No more art and craft or anything that requires massive cleaning later.

Yes. I can manage better now. Maybe this should be the way. I don’t have to teach Sophie anything, she will pick it up when she goes to school a couple of years later. I don’t have to train her anything because she is smart enough to learn by herself. I don’t have to change her diapers often since she will definitely cry if it gets too wet and uncomfortable. I should also relax during mealtime, after all she will eat when she is hungry. Constipation? No worries at all. Just give her lots of fluid, like soft drinks or packet drinks. If she doesn’t like the food, I can always order in or give her fries and biscuits. And of course, I don’t need to put her to bed because it is only human and natural for her to want to sleep if she is tired enough. Hey, it is actually quite easy to raise a child after all!

While I don’t get much credit for the way Sophie has turned out so far, I will definitely get the blame if she misbehaves or fails to excel in any way. So I am waiting for someone to criticise my “childishness” and condemn me for venting my frustration on Sophie. You see, I am not good enough and I doubt I will EVER be. So hey, come on… feel free to take me for granted or bully me. After all, there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it.

Brought It Upon Myself?

I have had enough. I was told recently that my SAHM life is so tough now because I brought it upon myself. And that maybe others could manage it so well because their methods are better. Perhaps I ought to change my ways and learn from others. I was also advised not to be so “arrogant” that I think my way with Sophie is correct or necessary the best for her.

I never boast about the effort I put into raising Sophie because everyday is a struggle for me. I am not trained so I had to read up and understand early childhood education before I dare to do anything with her. I have no younger siblings or any experience with babies so I had to read up about how to care for her. Yet every effort and attempt I have ever made was only met with contempt, doubt and insult. I am so hurt, discouraged and defeated.

In fact, this week I am letting go of everything. I leave the TV on so that Sophie can watch whatever she pleases. I gave her toys to occupy her time while I cook and clean. When she runs to me for attention or ask me to read to her, I would give her a hug and send her off to watch more TV or direct her to her toys instead. No more routines either. No more art and craft or anything that requires massive cleaning later.

Yes. I can manage better now. Maybe this should be the way. I don’t have to teach Sophie anything, she will pick it up when she goes to school a couple of years later. I don’t have to train her anything because she is smart enough to learn by herself. I don’t have to change her diapers often since she will definitely cry if it gets too wet and uncomfortable. I should also relax during mealtime, after all she will eat when she is hungry. Constipation? No worries at all. Just give her lots of fluid, like soft drinks or packet drinks. If she doesn’t like the food, I can always order in or give her fries and biscuits. And of course, I don’t need to put her to bed because it is only human and natural for her to want to sleep if she is tired enough. Hey, it is actually quite easy to raise a child after all!

While I don’t get much credit for the way Sophie has turned out so far, I will definitely get the blame if she misbehaves or fails to excel in any way. So I am waiting for someone to criticise my “childishness” and condemn me for venting my frustration on Sophie. You see, I am not good enough and I doubt I will EVER be. So hey, come on… feel free to take me for granted or bully me. After all, there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it.

Changes

Sophie and I have been an entity for almost 3 years. It is a good time to start breaking away from her so that she can develop a stronger sense of self and gain more independence. And “Hanalohgy” has been created as a symbolic gesture to my intention for autonomy. I will not be posting my life experiences, thoughts and feelings in her blog anymore.

“Sophie’s World” will also be replaced by “Sophie’s Sketches” in 2010. Papa, Mama and our home environment will no longer be Sophie’s “world” as she grows older and attends school next year. So “Sophie’s Sketches” will be used to document her development, learning and family time with us. Perhaps we may even be able to get her to contribute some entries as well.

All in all, we have great plans for 2010 and I cannot wait to share them…