Occasional Panic

Whenever I came across popular blogs or read comments of other parents, I would get a little worried. Most of the time, I read about parents raving about the use of flashcards in reading, speech and whatever. I also read about their success stories in sleep and toilet training. Of course I am envious that their children can achieve so much at such a tender age. However, I wonder what sort of world Sophie would have to face in the future as well.

Sadly, it is a performance-based society. It does not matter HOW one does it so long as one can show WHAT has been done. No one seems to value a child's passion, innocence and creativity anymore. Of course people still talk fondly of their "cute" children, but these qualities are not valued. Instead, people look at how early they can read or write, how many extra-curriculum activities they can cope with, and how well they can function independently without their parents. Doubt me? Just listen to the conversations of most parents nowadays.

I am not immune to this either. However, I make it a point to appreciate Sophie's personality and focus more on the process of learning and the passion in knowledge acquisition rather than the outcome. Having said that, I know the world would not be as forgiving towards her. She would be judged according to their standards. For that, I am terrified for her. I do not know if she would be resilient and brave enough to deal with others. Hopefully, I can prepare her and build a strong character in her. I believe this is more important than toilet training, sleeping independently and self-help skills. These would come in time with enough practise and encouragement, but inner strength might take a lifetime to cultivate.

Now that Alfee is coming into our lives, I have asked myself many times if I would do anything differently in raising him. Yes, of course. But I would not change my philosophy. No flashcards. No hard core learning. Just plenty of activities to get him all excited about learning new concepts and mastering new skills. Hopefully, my kids would grow up to appreciate my efforts in their upbringing... some day.